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The coal keeps rolling along

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The coal keeps rolling along

Just when you thought you’d seen every trick from the Book Of Nastiness, some mook comes up with ‘coal rolling.’ Imagine you’re behind the wheel of your Prius and inhaling that new-car smell with gusto. You’re feeling pretty good about yourself, tooling down the open road in your comfortable, sensible hybrid. What’s not to like […]

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I’m no longer a landlord

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I’m no longer a landlord

I used to be a landlord. For six summers I rented up north through an agency where my contact was a nasty woman name Frankie. Her two-pronged business policy was that the renters she sent me had to be rowdy and destructive and when bad things happened it was always my fault. When the kid […]

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Man in grocery line ages overnight

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Man in grocery line ages overnight

Drawing up a short list of helpful hints for seniors came to me recently when I spent two days behind a very sweet elderly lady at the checkout counter at my local Food Basics. I remember once seeing a tabloid newspaper headline: “Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Supermarket Checkout Line.” At the time I […]

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Dog eats socks, owners get cold feet

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Dog eats socks, owners get cold feet

Earlier this month a three-year-old Great Dane from Portland, Oregon was found to have eaten 43½ socks. His owners starting asking questions when the family budget revealed they were spending more money on socks than water, heat and hydro. Although the dog’s name has not been revealed, we’ll refer to him as Hamlet, the greatest […]

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Sure fire signs your neighbours are Russian spies

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Sure fire signs your neighbours are Russian spies

The cold war in Russia is back in full force and we’re all hoping the exchanges with the West remain land grabs and sanctions, not playing chicken with aircraft carriers and nuclear warheads. The last time we were this close to a world war was the missile crisis of 1962 when Khrushchev blinked, Kennedy nodded […]

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Gallantry in slow motion

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Gallantry in slow motion

So I open up my morning paper to the sports section to see how Philadelphia Flyers’ captain Claude Giroux is being greeted by teammates at training camp after being arrested in Ottawa at a bar on Canada Day for “repeatedly grabbing the buttocks of a male police officer.” (I hope you’re sitting down for this […]

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