Time to inquire about the IQ of the elephant in the room next door

Our latest column from William Thomas

As late as Thursday, March 27th, the White House still had a plan in place to deploy military troops along our shared border in order to keep Canadians from entering the United States. By that date, New York State registered 59,513 coronavirus victims and 965 dead as refrigerated trucks lined up in New York City to store corpses. The morgue and crematoriums were full.

My first thought was–well, those troops are not going to stop me! I’m off to Buffalo, as I do twice a month to take in an early movie at the North Park followed by a beer and a beef-on-weck at Joey’s Bar. And if I get turned back by the US military on the American side, I swear I’ll set off on a raft from the Palmwood Hotel in Crystal Beach and paddle my way to Buffalo.

Yes with 100,000 Americans carrying the COVID-19 virus thereby surpassing Italy and Spain to become the most virally contagious country in the world I assure you–Canadians are just dying to cross that border to buy cheaper dairy products and top up their gas tanks!!! Which brings me to the question often pondered but seldom publicly asked–how *%#&ing stupid are these people???

Ms. Prime Minister Chrystia Freedland was very diplomatic in helping to kill the deployment debacle saying it was “no way to treat a trusted friend and military ally.” But don’t be surprised if her first reaction was: “WTF! They’re now off-leash, foaming at the mouth and coming straight at us!”

From American vacationers entering Canada in July with snow skies atop of their cars to those who still think we speak “Eskimo” up here–every Canadian has a ‘stupid American’ story. My favorite is still the 2007 Miss Teen USA competition, where Miss South Carolina was asked why one-fifth of Americans could not locate the United States on a world map and she blamed it on…a shortage of maps.

The brilliant American scientist and philosopher Isaac Asimov has distilled the dumbing down of the United States to wrong-headed entitlement. The war cry of the army of right-wing rubes who support President Trump is: “My ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” In his essay “A Cult Of Ignorance” Asimov charts the rise of mental density in America. First, “Don’t trust the experts.” Then label anyone with sound knowledge trying to share it as an “elitist.” Misspelled road signs like “Go Slo” are being replaced with pictures for Americans who can’t or prefer not to read words. Of the 200 million Americans who have attended school and know how to read, only 500,000 subscribe to periodicals which aim to inform and educate them on current issues.

Asimov, who teaches at Boston University’s School of Medicine and has authored 212 scientific books concludes: “America’s ‘right to know is meaningless when we have an ignorant population, and the function of a free press is virtually zero when hardly anyone can read.”

Throw in “fake news”, “the media are the enemy of the people”, “Democrats are terrorists” and you begin to understand how a 40 million-strong support group of uneducated, white, gun-loving, God-fearing, far-right racists could well get President Donald Trump re-elected in November. Maybe November because if he’s behind in the polls by the early fall he’ll likely

postpone the election “until further notice” and blame it on COVID-19. (Number six on Bill Maher’s “How to Become A Dictator” list.)

Trump is itching to send Americans back to work because he knows he cannot get elected if the economy is still tanking by early fall. Not a whit does he care about this evil disease or its victims. It’s all about taking care of Number One and four more years.

By now even his staunchest supporters must realize Trump has seriously bungled America’s lackadaisical reaction to this pandemic to the point the United States now has more diseased citizens than any other country on the planet. (He does love huge crowd sizes!) So as scientific experts are predicting as many as 200,000 to 2.2 million Americans could die before this is over–I hope you’re sitting down for this–a Gallup poll showed his popularity just jumped to 49%!

Trump’s narcissism is monumental, his lying viral, his ignorance of everything except how reality TV works, staggering. And 40 million Americans admire everyone of these twisted traits because finally, their ignorant attitudes and biases are being shouted out from where it counts most, the White House in Washington D.C. Yet as many as 10 million loyal and unthinking evangelicals continue to support the Devil’s own posterboy when it comes to breaking the Ten Commandments. As America sinks deeper and deeper into this quagmire of contagion, diabolically, President Trump’s popularity is on the rise. “Our ignorance shouts down your science and our religion makes a vaccine unnecessary.”

Trump keeps insisting that COVID-19 “came out of nowhere” but it was he who dismantled the National Security Council Directorate whose mandate was to prepare America for the next pandemic!

Watching Trump degrade this once-great democracy to our south used to be puzzling and somewhat entertaining. Suddenly it’s deadly serious and potentially lethal to the citizens of Canada because if this president, emboldened by the unwavering support of the weak-minded masses does in fact order Americans back to work too soon, this insidious contagion could spread as fast and as hot as a California wildfire–mere meters from Canadian soil. Then there will be troops along the border–ours! Overnight Canada’s number one priority could become driving back Americans trying to flee a killer plague of Biblical proportions.

Watching Trump used to be funny, like getting a kick out of the loudmouth drunk in the airport lounge until you find out he’s also the pilot!

To buy a book or invite humorist William Thomas to be your guest speaker, go to www.williamthomas.ca


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